Speak up, I can't HEAR you

This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it (Psalm 118:24)  


I couldn't say it any better.  I'm sitting in my office working from home and I find that I'm just staring out the second story window.  The leaves are orange and red and I'm afraid almost gone.  I know this because Charlie has lined up 18 bags filled with them along the street ;)  It's quiet.  Every once in awhile I hear a bird outside and I have a squirrel who is my best friend who seems to climb onto the roof and knock on my window every time I sit here.  He acts like he knows me but I don't remember ever meeting him.  If I was a believer in reincarnation, I would be willing to tell you that we have met before.  


I'm aware today that I need "peace" in my life.  I need to unplug my ipod, get away from my office and all the people at school that "talk" to me and just hear nothing.  I need to get away from the sound of my own voice.  


I have been suspicious of this because I've started to drive to and from work in silence.  No radio, nothing.  This isn't like me.  But I crave peace.  I crave it because I haven't had a lot of it since 2006 when John left.  I've been the only parent for three fabulous kids.  They needed me to stay plugged in.  They needed me to talk, share, cry and dance with them.  We've done it all.  I have needed to work so I don't have the option of staying home where it is quiet.  Its okay.  


But what I absolutely know to be true about who I am and how I'm wired and what I do.........I do not find gratitude or appreciation without the peace.  I do not find it in the "busyness" of the world.  I do not find it in the noise.  As I get older, I am finding that the noise distracts me even more so the need for peace grows as well.


So I will go and allow myself 10 more minutes of peace before I begin to analyze the test data that I just got from my 10th graders on the PLAN test.  I will allow myself 10 more minutes to sit with God and appreciate his trees and leaves and the sunshine.  I will allow myself 10 more minutes to see if my best friend knocks on my window this morning.  I will allow myself 10 more minutes to just exhale and give thanks and feel appreciation for all that God has given me, done for me and helped me through.


Matthew 6:21  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.....sigh